Tuesday, November 16, 2010

To Muhammed

You were my friend. It is too bad that someone decided that they should “warn you” about my past and possible intentions. My only interest in you was exactly as I represented. If you consider our conversations you may recall that I never once attempted to probe your sexual preferences, or attempted to steer the discussion toward your sexual exploits. In fact, we never talked about sex at all, not even by implication, that I can remember. I enjoyed your company because of your unique and unusual experiences as a foriegner in America. Your youth and good looks never even occurred to me as a motive for knowing you. At least, not until the day you suddenly and without explaination, returned the laptop I had loaned to you for professor Slater's research project. When you did that it dawned on me that someone had told you about my past. And judging by the extremely uncharacteristic cold shoulder that I got from you when we met in the IACC for you to hand over the laptop, I could tell that they must have convinced you that my interest in you was not purely academic. That's too bad. They not only deprived you of the use of a laptop for school, but a genuine friend as well. I was seriously considering just letting you have the laptop, because I never used it anyway and did not need the money I could have gotten from selling it. I think about this incident with that laptop often. It was very typical of the kind of rejection I could expect for the rest of my life because of other people's fear and unwillingness to even attempt to understand. You gave me no chance to defend our friendship. You just dumped the laptop off and left, not even answering my inquiries as to your well being (at first I thought maybe you were in trouble for some reason, I could not otherwise understand why you were giving up a perfectly good computer). I can't help but sometimes wonder how your rejection of me effected me on the unconscious levels of my mind. The same levels that seem to determine my motives and drives toward anti-social behavior. I'm not trying to blame you for what I did later. I'm only trying to understand myself. In fact, I don't blame you at all. If I blamed anyone, I would blame the person who felt you needed to be “warned” about me. Or better yet, I would blame the social system that makes such “warnings” seem prudent. But, I don't blame anyone any more, not even Allah. You were my friend, and I only hope that you do not become so Americanized that you forget even what friends are for. If you let it, America will convince you that friendship is something that is to be bought and sold, just like any other commodity. I hope you will go back to Egypt before you let that happen.

Monday, September 27, 2010

Request For Public Defender

To: Judge David Downing, Superior Court of California, Department 1B, 46200 Oasis Street, Indio, CA 92201

From: Inmate Joseph Duncan, Indio Jail #200903677, P.O. Box 1748, Indio, CA 92202

Date: September 27, 2010

Subject: Request For Public Defender

Judge Downing,
I would like to forgo representing myself for the time being and request a public defender for the following reasons:
As I understand my predicament, I have only two choices. I can either accept public defender representation, and allow them to speak and act on my behalf without respect for my wishes, or I can represent myself, and be effectively muted by a flagrant lack of even the most basic resources for preparing a defense.
Since neither of these options provide any reasonable assurance that I will be heard in court, I must return my consideration to the good of the people whom my actions in the past have offended. In this regard, I should note that it has been my intention all along to expose as much of the truth in this matter as possible, in a way that takes into account our current capacity for understanding as a society (not my own understanding).
This means that I must not only review and correlate the huge volume of documentation that already exist in direct relation to this case, but I must also correlate that information with our society's contemporary knowledge and understanding. This is the onerous task that I have given myself in taking on the responsibility of self representation.
This task was already difficult, if not impossible, to begin with, given the severe restriction of resources imposed by the county jail where I am confined, and the lack of any legal assistance, as imposed by other county officials (not to mention the county's deliberate indifference to my long term health issues, i.e. dental problems). But now, with the recently imposed time constraint set by the court, along with more (and serious) restrictions on my investigative resources, I can no longer even imagine a way that it could be possible for me to “prepare for trial”, not even in ten years, much less one. I simply have no reasonable means of collecting, organizing, and correlating the extreme amount of information that is critical to the disposition of this case; in fact, I have barely any means at all.
So, I am forced to conceed that representing myself is futile and no longer a viable means of representing the truth. I am compelled by these circumstances to allow the state's own public defenders to represent what they will on my behalf. I will assist then in good faith and cooperate insofar as their actions represent the interests of the truth.
At this time I formally request to be assigned legal counsel, and I forgo the privelege of self reprentation.

Sincerely, Joseph E. Duncan III

Sunday, September 12, 2010

Post-Conviction Affidavit Of Pro Se Defendant

(The following affidavit was filed in U.S. Federal court shortly after I accepted (and did not appeal) three death sentences.)

UNITED STATES DISTRICT COURT DISTRICT OF IDAHO
(HONORABLE EDWARD J. LODGE)

UNITED STATES OF AMERICA, plaintiff,
vs.
JOSEPH EDWARD DUNCAN III, Defendant.

Case No. CR-07-23-N-EJL

POST CONVICTION AFFIDAVIT OF PRO SE DEFENDANT

My name is Joseph E. Duncan III. I am 45 years old and currently imprisoned by the government and specifically confined at the Ada County Jail in Boise Idaho. I have been convicted for murdering several people, including children, and for kidnapping and raping children. I have pleaded guilty unconditionally to all charges, and have chosen to represent myself in the Federal case against me in order to minimize my participation in society's decision to continue murdering, and also to minimize other people's involvement as well.

Up until now I have personally filed no litigation or other documents in regard to this case. All filings have been executed by the attorneys who were assigned to represent either the government or the “defendant” (myself), and in any case I have generally been opposed to all filings and have consistently expressed my opinion accordingly, though I have never asserted my opinion in any other way (i.e. by attempting to prevent filings that I was opposed to, with the exception of informing the court that I do not wish to appeal). My position has been, and remains, that this case is more about them (and society in general) than it is about me, so I should allow them (and society in general) to do as they think they should so that they can learn from their own mistakes as I have learned from mine.

After reviewing some of the numerous documents that have been filed I've decided that it is in the interest of the Truth (my best interest) to file at least one document stating my position in this matter as clearly as literally possible. I feel now is the time for such a document to be filed since society by-and-large has already made its decision and I have no intention of prolonging the process by appealing, so my words should have no bearing on the choice that society has made in this matter.
(Not attempting to influence society's choice is important to me since I have realized that the choices we make are our own, and no one outside of ourselves under any circumstance (or delusion) is responsible for the choices we make. Nobody and no circumstance can “make us” choose anything, though we can allow ourselves to be deceived (i.e. deceive ourselves). The true consequences of the choices we make fall back upon the ones making the choice, always, without exception. So society must be allowed to choose for itself, so it, as a whole, can learn this valuable truth).

As a matter of clarification, I should establish that I did in fact bring Shasta home and deliberately surrender myself to the police. The reason that I did so is not entirely clear even to myself and is certainly beyond my own ability to rationally explain. But I can say that I came to realize that there is an active intelligence far greater than my own intelligence that is not just involved but in full control of out lives. I have tried to explain this realization with words over and over and have repeatedly failed to satisfy what I now recognize to be the Living Truth within my being. For the sake of those who are still incapable of perception beyond tangible human language. I will say that while on the mountain with Shasta I “realized” that what I was doing was “insane”... so I stopped doing it. Or if you prefer more philosophical terminology, I could also say that I woke up to the miracle of life and died to the deception of death. But these are merely words that do not truly even begin to reflect the experience that caused me to give up my quest for what society now calls “justice” (when it is officially sanctioned) but what I knew even then to be vengeance, no matter what other names it may go by (i.e. “justice”, “punishment”, “retribution”, etc...).

I should point out that there is no evidence what-so-ever that indicates that I did not bring Shasta home voluntarily, while there is perpetually mounting evidence that I did bring her home. This is the most important fact concerning the events that instigate the government's case against me. It is a fact that I have let stand on its own, because I realize that I am not capable of expressing the true significance of what happened. It was also for this reason that I decided to represent myself in this case; not so I could “argue” with the government, or even “defend” myself, but so I could prevent all of the well meaning people (attorney's) from helping the “System” to further obscure the Truth by presenting a slanted version of reality meant to counter the opposition's slanted version.

The nature of human law requires you to view the truth as either an asset or a liability, whereas I see the Truth as an ultimatum that cannot be subverted, and any attempt to do so is foolish (or “insane”, as I like to say) and inevitably results in one's own suffering. So by representing myself and refusing to participate in the system of human law I am attempting to prevent other people from causing more harm to themselves, and to others, without actually imposing my views upon anyone, (much analogous to keeping matches away from children).

I initially asked to be represented immediately after my arrest mostly because I was very confused and did not trust my own ability to reason (it had clearly betrayed me up to that point). The only thing that I knew and clung to at that time was that subjecting myself to the possibility of being humiliated and even murdered by the system was preferable to continuing on my own delusional rampage. But I also wanted to protect Shasta, her family, and my own friends and family from what I knew to be the system's propensity for over dramatizing the role of the victim in order to make itself out to be the great hero. The system needs its victims to be perceived in the public's eye as violated as possible. So any chance it gets to make a victim appear even more victimized it does so without hesitation, especially when it can implicate the “monster” it purports to be defending society against ( this is all of course just a part of how the system justifies its existence). In practical terms: I was trying to keep information out of the hands of the government that I knew it would exploit at the expense of the numerous victims it claims to be protecting.

The “System” has always been my enemy. Only now I fully recognize that it is the “System” that is my enemy, not the people who are enslaved so ignorantly within it. So my fight has turned inward, to the real battle, and what the system does in its world of illusion in the meantime is of no real concern to me anymore. I now believe that only by overcoming the demons of deception within myself is it possible to find true Justice, not just for me, but for everyone. Since returning with Shasta I have come to believe that, unlike what many would have us believe, true salvation is not an individual endeavor. If anyone of us is to be saved, then we all must be saved.

So this is why I focus my energy and attention on my inner self, because I know that as a limited being I am a reflection of this world, and this society. And as a reflection the only power I have to change the world is to change myself – if the reflection changes, then what is reflected must also change. What the "Church of American Justice" (or the so-called "Criminal Justice System") does to fight “evil” is trivial by comparison to this task, and most of the time even contrary to it. This is why I pay little heed to the plethora of documents and proceedings that use my name in their attempts to further justify the system's own delusional murderous rampage (i.e. "insanity").

I have learned that the true heinousness of my crimes was far worse than merely murdering children; it was murdering the Living Truth within my being. In fact, the act of murdering children was a mere shadow – or reflection – of this greater crime. This is why I have said in open court that “You people really don't have any clue yet of the true heinousness of what I have done...” because if you did you could not possibly be so eager to do the same thing yourselves.

Rape and murder are no more than symptoms of the one true crime; the crime of denying the truth within ourselves. And this is why (or at least the best simile of why that my words can represent) that I have objected to nearly every piece of litigation filed in this case by the people who have been appointed to represent me. They are caught up in the illusion that the Truth is something that exist outside of themselves and that it can be manipulated to represent their own view of how things should be. Capital punishment – what society calls justice – is nothing more than the result of the same delusional thinking – and just another reflection of the greater crime – only much worse than murdering children, because it affects the conscience of so many more people, not to mention ultimately resulting in more children being raped and murdered, or even worse... led away from the Living Truth within their own being! (The very crime that I believe the legendary man/god Jesus was referring to when he spoke of leading children to harm).

So clearly, I view the system's desire to kill me as a crime worse than my own, yet stemming from the same root cause. I understand what brings such “evil” into this world (I generally equate the word “evil” with the word “deception”), and I know that it cannot be overcome by fighting it on its terms. So I refuse to “defend” myself in the public arena called a courtroom (where deception (“evil”) has the advantage) much as early Roman Christians refused to defend themselves in the public arenas of their day (which were also thought of as perfectly reasonable “Criminal Justice Systems”).
The early Christians understood that Truth alone is the One and Only source of real Justice. So they refused to fight with swords and shields, as I now refuse to fight with words and litigation. The Christians (and other followers of the Living Truth) even gave the Truth that they discovered within themselves other names (only one of which was “Jesus”) in order to express its Living nature; the same Living nature that I witness within myself and the same Living nature of the Truth that caused me to bring Shasta home.

I will no longer condemn society even as it condemns me. No man, no church, and no government has the authority to judge another living being. We are each given only the authority to judge ourselves (if we so choose), and when we seek to judge others it is only ourselves that we are judging.

Someday all people will understand and cherish this Truth. And I know in my own heart that even if my words are mocked today, someday they will be heard by people who know and honor this Truth. These people will be (and already are) my brothers and sisters, and no amount of time, space, or even death can separate me from them.

Dated: November 24, 2008
Respectfully Submitted,
Joseph E. Duncan III

(Note: In the two year since writing the above my views have changed some, and the words I choose to express my views have changed some too. But I still, and will always believe that there is an intelligence in this universe that underlies and transcends all our perceptions of intelligence (i.e. beauty) at the same time. We are nothing more than a bunch of self-important monkeys that have yet to even become truly cognizant of our surroundings; what a truly wonderful thing!)

Monday, August 16, 2010

Dear Joe

Do not believe the illusions of the world that will invariably cause you pain and confusion. Believe instead what your intuition tells you. What was true before I hurt you is true after. Only the illusion vacillates. Remember who you are, remember what I told you before I was murdered... again.

Thursday, April 22, 2010

Mea Culpa

To the volleyball player who came to see my cat; I was only doing what I thought you wanted me to do when I asked for a kiss. I did not know you were so afraid, or I would never have taken you home with me. Mea culpa.